Re-Write
Games are fun, but is there more to them?
Original
The first time I ever picked up a remote was during kindergarten and since then gaming has been a part of me. Even though it felt like gaming lead to improvement both virtually and in reality, I could not quite showcase the positives I had gained from it. This was due to the negative attitude of past generations and concepts such as ‘gaming is designed to waste time’, forming a negative connotation towards virtual games. This was until I watched the Ted talk “Gaming can make a better world” presented by Jane McGonigal (2013, February), proposing the question of, "What exactly are gamers getting so good at"?
During her speech, McGonigal (2013, February) classifies gamers as virtuous individuals and categorises their virtues into 4 aspects. Firstly, she defines ‘urgent optimism’ as, “the desire to act immediately to tackle an obstacle, combined with the belief that we have a reasonable hope of success” (2013, February). Secondly, she identifies that through gaming, levels of trust between competitors are positively reinforced forming the ‘social fabric’. Thirdly, gamers ‘work hard all the time, if they're given the right work’, meaning the sense of time optimisation forms ‘blissful productivity’. Finally, she defines the inspiration within the virtual world that motivates millions of individuals to play a variety of games as ‘epic meaning’. Overall, she concludes that the ‘four superpowers’ form a ‘super-empowered hopeful individual’ and concludes that through games real world problems could be successfully settled.
Now that the importance of gaming and its positivity on self-improvement is highlighted, how can this be applied to a classroom setting? The reality is that children at schools are exposed to limitations to their potentials rather than support for their capabilities. Instead of empowerment children receive excessive judgement and are forced to better themselves. Curriculums are formed on passive learning methods which promote singularity and demotes social improvement. Disadvantaged kids are left disadvantaged and prosperity becomes extremely difficult leaving a scarce number of successful individuals. Through the implementation of the effects of games on individuals’ curriculums could be formed to tailor student needs. Through collaboration/cooperation children would be influenced to form positive mindsets and become super-empowered hopeful individuals, collectively attaining success.
Just like all things in existence, gaming also has its limitations. In many cases, video games are so enjoyable that people favour upgrading virtually rather than improving their reality. Additionally, most gaming manufacturers exist to produce profit, meaning they are specifically formulated to glue the player into constantly playing the game. To enjoy gaming to the fullest gamers should priorities their lives first. By creating a healthy balance individuals progress both virtually and in reality, attaining prosperity with the immense benefits gained through gaming.
Overall, instead of disregarding gaming it is time we remove the negativity it attracts and put it to use for our benefit. Making use of the ‘superpowers’ via ‘producing blissful productivity, the ability to weave a tight social fabric, this feeling of urgent optimism and the desire for epic meaning’ (McGonigal, J. 2010, February). Successfully paving a bright and optimistic outlook for our future generations.
-Zaid Bayraktar
Constructive Feedback
Lucinda Bell
Hi Zaid, Amazing job on your reflection.
The first paragraph about the TED talk was really well captured, you provided the perfect amount of information for us to grip the important pieces of material. It was concise and to the point.
I really enjoyed the inclusion on how this can be used in the classroom. It is relevant and informative and aids the reader to understand the point of the reflection.
One thing you could improve on is providing more insight into your feelings. I can tell this topic was important to you, so making it more colloquial and adding the use of the personal pronoun “I” will create a more reflective and united approach to this piece.
I would also suggest providing more references. There are some claims in your piece, like in your third paragraph about the limitations of video games, that would be better supported with a reference.
All in all, you’ve done great. It was a well-written piece that was the perfect balance between reflection and evidence.
Well done :)
Bell, L. (2021, April 15). Constructive Feedback to Peers. Medium. https://lucinda-bell.medium.com/constructive-feedback-to-peers-c2486bc86cfa
Re-Written
The first time I ever picked up a remote was during kindergarten and, ever since, gaming has been a part of me. Even though it felt like gaming lead to improvement both virtually and in reality, I could not quite showcase the positives I had gained from it. Mainly due to the negative attitude of past generations and concepts such as ‘gaming is programmed to waste time,' forming a negative connotation towards virtual games. This was until I watched the Ted talk, “Gaming can make a better world,” presented by Jane McGonigal (2013, February), proposing the question of, "What exactly are gamers getting so good at"?
During her speech, McGonigal (2013, February) refers to gamers as virtuous individuals and categorises their virtues into 4 aspects. Firstly, she defines ‘urgent optimism’ as, “the desire to act immediately to tackle an obstacle, combined with the belief that we have a reasonable hope of success” (2013, February). Secondly, she identifies that through gaming, levels of trust between competitors are positively reinforced forming the ‘social fabric’. Thirdly, gamers ‘work hard all the time, if they're given the right work’, meaning the sense of time optimisation forms ‘blissful productivity’. Finally, she defines the inspiration within the virtual world that motivates millions of individuals to play a variety of games as ‘epic meaning’. Overall, she concludes that the ‘four superpowers’ form a ‘super-empowered hopeful individual’ and concludes that through games real world problems could be successfully settled.
Now that the importance of gaming and its positivity on self-improvement is highlighted, how can this be applied to a classroom setting? The reality is that children at schools are exposed to limitations to their potentials rather than support for their capabilities. Instead of empowerment students receive excessive judgement and are forced to better themselves. Curriculums are formed on passive learning methods which promote singularity and demotes social improvement. Disadvantaged kids are left disadvantaged and prosperity becomes extremely difficult leaving a scarcity of successful individuals. In research to, ‘exploring the connection between playing video games and English grades’, Uuskoski (2011) concluded that, “Teachers should not only give their students the occasional book reading assignment but also smaller reading, watching, listening and playing assignments.” Through the implementation of the effects of games on individuals’ curriculums could be formed to tailor student needs. Through collaboration/cooperation students would be influenced to form positive mindsets and become super-empowered hopeful individuals, collectively attaining success.
Just like all things in existence, gaming also has its limitations. In many cases, video games are so enjoyable that people favour upgrading virtually rather than improving their reality. Additionally, most gaming manufacturers exist to produce profit, meaning they are specifically programmed to glue the player into constantly playing the game. A 2010 study of 8- to 18-year-olds found that young people were engaging in media multitasking for 29 percent of their overall media use, fitting over 10 hours of media use into 7.5 hours of their days (Rideout, Foehr, & Roberts, 2010). To enjoy gaming to the fullest gamers should priorities their lives first. By creating a healthy balance individuals progress both virtually and in reality, attaining prosperity with the immense benefits gained through gaming.
Overall, instead of disregarding gaming it is time we remove the negativity it attracts and put it to use for our benefit. Making use of the ‘superpowers’ via ‘producing blissful productivity, the ability to weave a tight social fabric, this feeling of urgent optimism and the desire for epic meaning’ (McGonigal, J. 2010, February). Successfully paving a bright and optimistic outlook for our future generations.
Blue = minor changes
Red =sections removed
Yellow = additional referencing
Black = Pronouns
References
Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, Rideout, V. J., Foehr, U. G., & Roberts, D. F. (2010, January). Generation M2: Media in the lives of 8- to 18-year-old. Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED527859.pdfOlli
McGonigal, J. (2010, February). Jane McGonigal: Gaming can make a better world [Video file]. Retrieved from: https://www.ted.com/talks/jane_mcgonigal_gaming_can_make_a_better_world/transcript?language=en#t-3502
Uuskoski, O. (2011). Playing video games: A waste of time. . . or not? Exploring the Connection between Playing Video Games and English Grades, 58–59. https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/14925093.pdf
Reasoning
Changes made
Introduction
Minor changes
The first time I ever picked up a remote was during kindergarten and, ever since, gaming has been a part of me. Even though it felt like gaming lead to improvement both virtually and in reality, I could not quite showcase the positives I had gained from it. Mainly due to the negative attitude of past generations and concepts such as ‘gaming is programmed to waste time,' forming a negative connotation towards virtual games. This was until I watched the Ted talk, “Gaming can make a better world,” presented by Jane McGonigal (2013, February), proposing the question of, "What exactly are gamers getting so good at"?
Paragraph 1
"The first paragraph about the TED talk was really well captured, you provided the perfect amount of information for us to grip the important pieces of material. It was concise and to the point." (Bell, 2021)
Due to positive feedback close to no changes were made.
During her speech, McGonigal (2013, February) refers to gamers as virtuous individuals and categorises their virtues into 4 aspects. Firstly, she defines ‘urgent optimism’ as, “the desire to act immediately to tackle an obstacle, combined with the belief that we have a reasonable hope of success” (2013, February). Secondly, she identifies that through gaming, levels of trust between competitors are positively reinforced forming the ‘social fabric’. Thirdly, gamers ‘work hard all the time, if they're given the right work’, meaning the sense of time optimisation forms ‘blissful productivity’. Finally, she defines the inspiration within the virtual world that motivates millions of individuals to play a variety of games as ‘epic meaning’. Overall, she concludes that the ‘four superpowers’ form a ‘super-empowered hopeful individual’ and concludes that through games real world problems could be successfully settled.
Paragraph 2
"I really enjoyed the inclusion on how this can be used in the classroom. It is relevant and informative and aids the reader to understand the point of the reflection." (Bell, 2021)
Due to positive feedback only minor changes were made. Removing unnecessary first sentence and increasing flow within the paragraph.
Additionally, Supporting evidence was provided as suggested.
Now that the importance of gaming and its positivity on self-improvement is highlighted, how can this be applied to a classroom setting? The reality is that children at schools are exposed to limitations to their potentials rather than support for their capabilities. Instead of empowerment students receive excessive judgement and are forced to better themselves. Curriculums are formed on passive learning methods which promote singularity and demotes social improvement. Disadvantaged kids are left disadvantaged and prosperity becomes extremely difficult leaving a scarcity of successful individuals. In research to, ‘exploring the connection between playing video games and English grades’, Uuskoski (2011) concluded that, “Teachers should not only give their students the occasional book reading assignment but also smaller reading, watching, listening and playing assignments.” Through the implementation of the effects of games on individuals’ curriculums could be formed to tailor student needs. Through collaboration/cooperation students would be influenced to form positive mindsets and become super-empowered hopeful individuals, collectively attaining success.
Paragraph 3
"Would also suggest providing more references. There are some claims in your piece, like in your third paragraph about the limitations of video games, that would be better supported with a reference." (Bell, 2021)
Supporting evidence was provided to support the limitations of video games. Providing credible sources regarding excessive media use relates to gaming.
Just like all things in existence, gaming also has its limitations. In many cases, video games are so enjoyable that people favour upgrading virtually rather than improving their reality. Additionally, most gaming manufacturers exist to produce profit, meaning they are specifically programmed to glue the player into constantly playing the game. A 2010 study of 8- to 18-year-olds found that young people were engaging in media multitasking for 29 percent of their overall media use, fitting over 10 hours of media use into 7.5 hours of their days (Rideout, Foehr, & Roberts, 2010). To enjoy gaming to the fullest gamers should priorities their lives first. By creating a healthy balance individuals progress both virtually and in reality, attaining prosperity with the immense benefits gained through gaming.
Conclusion
"... adding the use of the personal pronoun “I” will create a more reflective and united approach to this piece." (Bell, 2021)
Through placing pronouns a sense of belonging is created. Ensuring support from the reader.
Overall, instead of disregarding gaming it is time we remove the negativity it attracts and put it to use for our benefit. Making use of the ‘superpowers’ via ‘producing blissful productivity, the ability to weave a tight social fabric, this feeling of urgent optimism and the desire for epic meaning’ (McGonigal, J. 2010, February). Successfully paving a bright and optimistic outlook for our future generations.